Help Me Choose a Career

I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want to "do when I grow up". My youngest is going to start Kindergarten not this coming September, but the next. Suddenly I am all about planning the "rest of my life" which sounds sappy and weird to me and is why it is in quotes. I know I want to be a stay at home mom until he is in school full days, and I know that even then I'd like to only work part time so I can be home when they leave for school and hopefully by the time they get home too. Obviously I would make other arrangements if that did not end up being possible, but if I'm going to dream of my ideal job, I'm going to go all the way and list exactly what I want.


Here is my problem. I have a B.S. in psychology, which is not really enough to do anything with. I haven't had a job outside of my house in 11 years. My last job was Kindergarten teacher, which I loved at the time. Whatever I choose to do, I would need to go to some sort of school I am sure. I am all about planning and figure that I can possibly squeeze in some classes when my son goes to Kindergarten but that would require me to know what I want to do in order to take the correct classes!

Here are some things I like: kids (but I don't know if I want to work with them again full time), helping people, taking care of people, medical stuff, not doing the same exact thing repetitively (although knowing what to expect each day would be good too).

I was contemplating going back to teaching but this time maybe teaching a grade other than Kindergarten. This would allow me to have pretty much the same schedule as my kids, which is a great plus. But on the down side, I would be around kids all day and as much as I do love kids, I sometimes feel sort of drained and feel like I have less of me left for my own kids. I think I would especially feel that way if I taught every day. Maybe substituting? But I'm not sure I would like not knowing what to expect from the class each day. My own kids need to come first, obviously.

Then I was thinking that what I sort of have been wanting to do is something medical. I have all this knowledge of my cancer and all the oddness that is used to treat it and wouldn't it be great to put that to use? The problem with that is that I am a tiny bit squeamish. I don't know if I could poke someone with a needle, and that is sort of usually required for most medical jobs. I considered doing some sort of nuclear medicine assisting or something but really have no idea what kind of jobs there even are. I do know that I was always fascinated with everything the radiation safety guy told me as he measured my radioactivity level each day with his little machine. I would always make him stay and explain things to me, but maybe that was also because I was isolated in my hospital room with nothing else to do because my body was a danger to others at the time.

My question is....Is there some sort of job where I could help cancer patients but not have to do anything that would make me squeam? Or could I get over my squeamishness and become a nurse? When I was younger, I always thought I would be a child life specialist at a hospital, but I don't even know if that job exists anymore. Is there some sort of program for adult/child cancer patients that I could be a part of? And if you have a name for what that job is, do you have any idea what kind of degree I would need? Because I think my ideal job would be some sort of counselor for kids/adults with cancer. Maybe.

Basically, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, don't really know what jobs are available or what degree I would need but feel the need to figure this all out right now. Any help would be appreciated. Or suggestions of cool jobs/careers that I might not have thought of. I am willing to work hard, and always believe that if I put my mind to it I can do anything I want. So, now it is your turn. What kind of job should I train for? I am willing to take time working towards something, but I want to know what I am working towards before I begin. Make sense?

Not Super Human

Alternate title: Random Unrelated Items (possibly boring) that I Will Share Anyway


I always tell my kids that I exercise to keep my body healthy. Years ago, we had quite a discussion on how in the world I got cancer with all the exercise I do. I know I told them that exercise isn't a cure for anything, but it does make my body stronger and more able to fight things. We talked about how I was able to fight the cancer and am healthy now and probably the fact that my body was healthy before cancer helped make it easier for me to fight it.

For weeks (months?), my 4 year old son has been asking me "what if you were on the treadmill and you were the only one alive in the world?" He knows I am on the treadmill at 5am before everyone wakes up, so I assumed he meant what if something happened to him while I was down there and couldn't hear him or something. I kept trying to get him to explain what his thinking was so I could understand what he was asking. After many times of going through the whole thing of well, that is very unlikely that anything would happen, and talking him through what he should do if he ever can't find me when he wakes up, which is also unlikely since he doesn't wake up until around 10 most days, I finally started just answering his question with "well, that would be sad wouldn't it?" I still had no idea what he was trying to ask or what he meant by his question at all.

Yesterday, totally unrelated to his question, we were driving home from the gym. We were talking about eating vegetables. He does not eat them. He said "sometimes I use the exercise machine* in the basement so I'll live a really long time too". Suddenly it clicked in my head what his question has meant all this time. He meant what if I am so healthy that I am the only one alive in the world because everyone else has died. Got it. We then had a talk about how exercise isn't going to make me super human, I will still eventually die, etc. Since that day, he hasn't asked me his question. Thank goodness I finally figured out what he was talking about!


*we have a horrible elliptical machine that I hate with a passion. The stride is all wrong for me on it and makes my knees hurt when I try to use it. The one at the gym doesn't do that so I am guessing it is just the cheap one we have.



Just when I think the cancer talk at my house is over for a while, my daughter brings home a paper like this:





(click to enlarge it) It makes me sad that this is something she can relate to in her book.


Also, a raccoon was playing near the kids sandbox the other night. I got a terrible picture but I think you can see it, right?




And last of all, my 4 year old son is positive his room is his "lair" and there are laser scanners in his doorway. The other night I was about to go in to kiss him goodnight and he said "zip zip. Ok, you are good. The laser scanners scanned your eyes and found that you are good so you can come in". I don't know where he gets it, but I love it! Every morning he gives me a big hug and tells me he is so lucky to have me. He means every word he says. I think the world would be so much happier if it were filled with 4 year olds. Good thing I can't have another baby because right about now is when I would start thinking maybe we should have one.

100 Things About Me (part 2)

51. I can do a perfect cartwheel if I go to the left. I can not do a cartwheel to the right and if I tried, I would probably fall on my face. I have never had gymnastics lessons because my parents wouldn't let me.

52. Despite never having gymnastics lessons, when we got to the gymnastics portion of gym class in grade school, my head stand and cartwheel were so perfect that my mean gym teacher remarked "finally we have found something you are good at".

53. The reason he thought I wasn't good at anything else is because I did not know the rules to any sports, and since he didn't actually teach us I just sort of guessed what I was supposed to do. Everyone else in the class seemed to already know how to play kickball, baseball, etc. but since I had little parental involvement when I was young, I had no idea what to do.

54. I said a swear word to a priest once. I went to a Catholic college (I am not Catholic though) and in class, we were supposed to name words that were Spanish that we knew. When it got to me, I blanked on anything normal and said I could only think of one, but I couldn't say it. The priest (my very favorite teacher and a very cool guy) told me to name it anyway. I didn't want to, but he said we all had to wait until I could say it. I don't remember the word, and the only reason I knew the word at all was because a guy I dated called his new girlfriend (the one after me) that word. I think it meant bitch or whore or something like that. I dated really classy guys, right?

55. I love cheese. I think I could live solely on cheese and cheese food products.

56. I am horrible at answering any question, even innocent easy ones when asked directly. If you asked me how old I was, I would probably have absolutely no idea for a second. Put me on the spot and I am completely useless no matter what it is that you asked me. I would not do well on a game show, and also don't play quick thinking games very well. I recover fast so usually no one knows that for a minute I didn't know what my daughter's name was or whatever, but it puts me a bit on edge when I meet new people that might ask me things that I should know.

57. People underestimate me all the time. I am smart, but I guess I don't look like I am or something because people constantly are amazed at what I know when things come up.

58. I graduated from high school a month after I turned 16. I feel like I told this already, so I'll put another one in here. I graduated from college just a couple weeks after I turned 20. It would have been an entire year earlier if my first year at college hadn't been kind of a drinking partying kind of year where I dropped tons of classes because I was afraid I might do badly. I believe the number of guys I dated the first year totaled more than actual credit hours I obtained. I think I ended up with 6 or 9 credit hours total the first year. I worked my butt off in summer school and the following year to catch up. I also had 3 jobs that summer to pay for my fuck up.

59. I am a perfectionist and would often rather not attempt something than to attempt it and not do perfectly at it.

60. This is why my triathlon stuff was such a big deal to me. I am not great at any portion of a triathlon, and doing it sort of mediocre was rough for me to accept. I am happy I tried it, and proud that I continue to do it even though I know in my heart I will never come close to winning. I win in my heart every single time I show up (and that was really cheesy, sorry!)

61. I can not remember names of streets most of the time. The roads I do remember confuse people because I finish the name of the road when it isn't finished. That doesn't make much sense, so I will give you two examples. The street by the hospital is named "Potter" road. When I tell people the name, I automatically say "Harry Potter Road". Another example of this is a street by our old house named "Rollins" which I always always call "Henry Rollins Road". People get confused because they are looking for Henry Rollins Road, and when they see Rollins, they don't know that it is the one I am talking about. I don't do this on purpose but do it with almost every road that I actually know the name of.

62. I have a very tiny bladder. My initials before I got married were T (for Tori) and then B (for my last name) My friends used to joke about why my parents gave me that name and that my initials stood for Tiny Bladder. I have to pee more often than any of my kids do and I am sorry.

63. I do not eat seafood. The only exception I make to this rule is that on a very rare occasion I like tuna in my macaroni and cheese. It has to be so mixed in and covered with cheese that I can't tell it was once fish. If I see the can it came out of or any of it before it is covered in orange cheese I will probably throw up because it looks so gross. There is nothing better as comfort food for me than tuna mac and cheese though. As long as someone else makes it for me.

64. I have already said this in a post before, but it still counts because I am the decider. My ears are extremely sensitive to the pressure changes on airplanes. I can't ever remember flying anywhere without the pain. When I was little, my mom worked for an airline and we flew all the time. My parents didn't understand how bad it hurt until finally one very nice flight attendant pretty much told them they were being jerks when they were yelling at me to quit whining about my ears all the time. She made me some hot cups (which didn't do a thing about the pain) but made me feel so cared for that I didn't mind as much about the pain.

65. I am incredibly sensitive to other peoples moods. If someone is scowling or seems grumpy, it makes my stomach hurt and influences my mood much more than it should. I don't like when other people are unhappy and when they are I can actually feel it as a physical feeling.

66. I love pretty underwear and pretty pajamas. I probably have more than I should of both. Despite this fact, it is still my favorite present to receive.

67. I don't like to drive. I would much rather be the passenger than the driver.

68. My brother is a professional ballet dancer. (yes, that isn't about me at all) A bunch of relatives on my dad's side were famous ballet dancers. (still not about me) When I was little, I tried taking a ballet/tap class. I hated the tap part so much that in between the tap and ballet part, I would pretend I couldn't tie my shoes and take forever to actually do it so I would miss most of the class. I learned to tie my shoes at the age of 2 and a half. I was at least 5 years old in the class. No one ever caught on that I almost never was actually in the class and spent most of my time in the hallway. I told my mom I hated the class and never signed up again. I actually loved the ballet part and when my brother started taking it, I would force him to teach me everything he learned each day in class. I sometimes wonder if it was me making him practice so much extra that made him so good. I hope so because it would totally make up for my next thing about me.

69. When I was about 9 and my brother was 3, I brought him in the basement with me and forced him to learn to add and subtract. I told him he couldn't leave the basement until he learned. I had no plans for actually making him stay there until he learned, but I really wanted to play school and all my friends were busy that day so I figured if I forced him to stay down until he learned, he would have to play with me for a while. He didn't seem to mind and actually did learn to add and subtract. To this day, neither of us have told why he learned so early. I have no idea if he even remembers...I should email him and ask!

70. Also when my brother was little I really wanted a sister. I used to dress my brother up in girl clothes and put pony tails in his hair. He agreed to this as long as he had a single glove on his hand. Because I told him I was making him look like Michael Jackson. (He was pretty popular at this time) My dad saw me do this one time and that was the last time I ever got to dress him this way. My dad was furious and pulled the railing off the wall because he was shaking it with anger.

71. I think it goes without saying that I was terrified of my dad when I was little. He doesn't scare me anymore, but I still think if he wasn't my dad I probably wouldn't ever talk to him.

72. Sometimes I have a hard time deciding when it is time to stop fighting for something and just let go and move on.

73. There is nothing better than snuggling in my bed with all 4 of my kids near me.

74. I think Jeremy Piven is hot. Which is weird because he isn't someone I would normally go for. Something about him makes me drawn to him though. When I was little, my brother went to his parent's acting school and I always wanted to tag along to drop him off in hopes that he might be there. Never mind the fact that at the time I was little and he was way too old to have noticed me (not that he is old, just that I was very young).

75. I am very independent. Some things terrify me though and they are bizarre things you would never expect. I am not terrified to order at Starbucks, but my irrational fear comes close to terrified. I always make someone else order for me because it is just too complicated and I fear I will mess it up. I'm also scared to get an oil change for my car. I have never done that. It makes no sense, I know! WhenI was 13, I went by myself on an airplane to Australia where I knew no one. I was not afraid at all about that. Nonsensical, I know. You don't have to tell me that in comments.

76. I have had stitches on my bladder. Bizarre, but true. When I had my twins, during the c-section I heard my doctor say to the resident "oh, never that close" and then "oh, ok let me take over". Apparently because I don't have a big layer of fat, or a normal amount or something the resident didn't know that my bladder would be so close to whatever they were looking at, slipped and nicked it. I was stitched up and had to leave the catheter in an extra day.

77. I hate catheters and IV's. They don't hurt, just knowing they are there bothers me. As you can imagine, having the catheter in an extra day really ticked me off. But not at my doctor, just in general that it had to be there.

78. When I was really little I took violin lessons. I apparently did not like them, although I have absolutely no memory of them at all. On the second class, I threw my violin at the teacher and yelled at her and my mom finished the rest of the session of lessons she had paid for because I wasn't allowed back in. My youngest son is exactly like I was. It makes it harder to parent him, but I totally understand him. He frustrates my husband like crazy but I "get" him and don't think I have ever not understood why he was upset about something that seems ridiculous to anyone else. I appear to have a magical way of getting him to do what I want him to do, when really since I get what is making him upset, I can fix it much more easily than anyone else can.

79. When I get a blood test, I turn my head and cup my hand around my eyes so I won't accidentally see. Almost every nurse I have ever had has made the joke about "maybe I won't look either". It is never funny, not even the first time I heard it but I laugh each time because I fear for what would happen if I didn't. They are about to stick a needle in my arm!

80. I love to swim in an indoor pool when it is snowing outside. My very favorite is the gym I go to because it has huge windows. It is just the coolest thing in the world to be swimming and look up and see it snowing.

81. I don't often believe people when they say something nice about me. I often feel like they are just saying it to be nice.

82. When we get letters from the kids school, I always expect it to be something bad, as in something I have forgotten to do, or something one of the kids has done. We have never actually gotten a negative letter though. Every time we get one it is to invite one of the kids to an honor assembly, or some award or something. I have no idea why my mind jumps to something bad each time when nothing like that has ever happened. I do the same thing when we get a letter from our homeowner association. I panic and wonder what we did wrong. It is usually just a bill, and one time it was a letter announcing the retirement of a board member. Never anything bad, but still that is what my mind jumps to immediately.

83. I can't imagine ever having a full time job outside of the house ever again in my life. I am busy enough, and can't understand how people fit everything in when they have a job too!

84. Red M&M's are my favorite. I won't eat the blue ones and I don't know why. Yes, I know that is weird.

85. I sometimes wish I had one thing I was completely into. My sister in law has a thing that clearly defines her. I have about a billion things that I love to do, hobbies and such, but no one clear passion. I like to knit, but I'm not all into going to fiber festivals, I like to do triathlons, but sometimes I feel like people are a little too into them and obsessed, I love my kids but they aren't my complete life, etc. I sometimes wish I could just find the one thing that I would be all about.

86. Halter tops give me a headache from the pressure on my neck. I don't know if it is because of my surgery and the nerves being messed up or what but it makes me sad that I can't really wear them unless I want a headache.

87. I almost never polish my fingernails, but my toenails are always done.

88. I wish it was socially acceptable to only wear pajamas. I change into mine as soon as we start giving the kids baths, which is usually around 7. I dislike clothes because I feel trapped in them.

89. When I was little, I used to walk around my house in just my underwear. I vividly remember when I had to stop doing that. I think I was around 8. My friend rang the doorbell and I was naked. I couldn't get up to my room without passing the door and had no idea what to do. I don't remember what I actually did, but I do remember the feeling like when you are dreaming you are naked in a group of people except it was really happening. I never walked around without at least a shirt on after that.

90. I have never seen my dad naked, but my mom used to call us in to talk to her while she was going to the bathroom, taking a bath, whatever. Nakedness with her wasn't "a thing". I try really hard not to make it a thing in our house too, but I also don't want to be like my mom was and make my kids hate to see me naked. I don't freak out when changing in front of them, but I also don't call them in when I am not dressed. I hope they never end up writing a list about me when they are bigger!

91. When I tell stories to my kids about my parents because things come up, I feel bad that I have to say things that are not wonderful. I don't want to lie about what things were like, but I feel so disloyal (thank you for helping me name the feeling Sarah!) telling the truth about some things. I do love my parents and I don't want my kids to think they were awful, but the truth is some of the things they did were not ok.

92. When I was radioactive and stuck alone in a hospital room, I thought it was hilarious that they had the yellow "caution, radioactive material inside do not enter" tape across the door. The radioactive material was me, and I could not stop laughing each time I saw it.

93. The only person who laughs with me about that, or finds it anywhere near as funny as I do is my aunt. She is the one who had the brain tumor at the exact same time I had my thyroid cancer. After her surgery, she saw aliens in her room trying to put medicine into her iv. After her brain swelling went down, she laughed with me when I told her about all her hallucinations that she had told me about in great detail. No one could believe I told her the things she said but we both found them super funny. Apparently it isn't funny to joke around about cancer and tumors. Except to my aunt and I.

94. The person in my family that I am most like, in fact, the only person I am anything like at all is that aunt. She has my same exact sense of humor, she is very positive even when things suck, etc.

95. My aunt is blind. When she got a thyroid nodule, which thankfully turned out to be benign, she asked me if my doctor is cute because she wanted to go to him. I told her he is. She is blind. She can't see him, but I totally get why it matters to her if I say he is cute. Cute when I say it means more than how someone looks. My one doctor is like 100 years old (total exaggeration, but he has to be at least 60) and I find him totally cute. His personality, the way he cares makes him an adorable man. He is attractive, but that isn't what it really means when I say he's cute and my aunt knows it.

96. The word "benign" always makes me think of Bingo. B9. When they told me my ovarian cyst was benign as I was waking up from surgery, I mumbled "bingo". My doctor heard it and laughed but no one else got it at all.

97. I always have a hard time waking up from surgery. I stay asleep forever. I have no idea why. The anesthesiologist always comments on how most people wake up so much faster than I do.

98. Although I had my tubes tied before I had my hysterectomy, am still somewhat sad that I can't have another baby. I wasn't planning to, but having the choice taken away stinks!

99. I can't believe I am almost at 100! (that was a cheat so I'll add something else here) I am a very light sleeper. If you even breathe wrong I will wake up. I feel like I told that one already, so I'll add one more. I really really wish I had an Alice from the Brady Bunch. How awesome would it be to have someone that would take care of all the crap parts of life for you. And we even have a butcher down the street that she could date. But he's a little cranky, but then again so was Sam so maybe Alice likes that in a man. I happen to not like a cranky man. I like happy laid back men. Doctors are nice, so are weather men.

100. If I wasn't so squeamish, I would have loved to be a doctor or nurse. I'm actually considering trying to get over my fear and going back to school to do some sort of job like the people who helped me with the radioactive iodine when I had my radiation. I found the process fascinating. The radiation guy always sat (a minimum of several feet away from me) and talked to me forever about what he does and explained a bunch of stuff to me after he measured my radioactivity level each day.

Check out myreview blog for a cool science review.

Raining Chocolate

First of all, I finally checked out twitter. If you want to follow me, I am radioactive tori. My updates will post on the side of my blog under my blogroll. It is so much easier to do that than to write a whole blog post. Especially when I have nothing much to say. If you want to know what I'm doing, check there to see. I apologize for the fact that I am so boring!

Weekend Updates:

1. My daughter's dance was adorable Friday night. Her "date" did not kiss her at the end of the night, but he did do an awkward handshake that was almost a hug at the end. It was cute. He called her last night to talk about "homework" and she went into her closet to talk so we wouldn't hear her. I am not sure I am ready for this, but I guess I don't get a choice.

2. The communion was nice. My son walked all the way around the priest so he wouldn't have to drink the wine because when he tasted it in practice, he found it gross and didn't want to have to drink it again. My daughter, on the other hand, took a big gulp of the wine. This is something I will need to keep noted for when they are teenagers I think.

3. My daughter cried during the communion. After the wine part, since my son had skipped that and walked a different way than everyone else,she didn't know where to go to sit back down. She ended up on the wrong side of the aisle and cried. I jumped up and pushed people out of the way (I said excuse me) to get her back to where she needed to be.

4. My 4 year old sat through the almost 2 hour church service and was very well behaved. At the end, I kissed him and told him I was so proud of him. He looked me right in the eye and told me he was really proud of me because he knows how much I hate church.

5. It is a fact that I do not like organized religion. I have issues with being told God is everywhere and then being told I need to go to church to talk to him. I did not know my kids knew this about me. I dutifully go to church with them and pretend to enjoy it even though I am not Catholic because when I got married I promised to raise my kids Catholic. It is important to my husband, and since I can't choose a religion I thought it would be good to just choose his for the kids. I always do talk to the kids respectfully about the things they learn that I don't agree with. One of my major issues is confession but that is an entirely different kind of post that I don't have time for today. In the end, I hope my kids make up their own minds about what they believe someday just like I did, but I do believe it is important that someone is teaching them something about religion.

6. I made so much food for the communion party and we have a ton leftover. Did you know that even if you have about 60 people over for dinner, you won't use up much of the lasagna, sausage pasta, salad, homemade bread, and stuff you make because everyone will also show up with food? We will be eating leftovers for weeks! On a happy note, we have tons of cake leftover too. I am going to have some for breakfast in about a minute when I am done writing this.

7. We had a chocolate fountain. Did you know that if you decide to put it outside because you don't want that kind of a mess in the house it will suddenly get very windy outside and blow chocolate around? It was like it was raining chocolate. We were covered.


I hope everyone had a great weekend! I did!

I'm In Love With My Weather Man

I love the word notorious. It has my name in it and is just a very fun word to say. One thing I am notorious for is buying crap off of infomercials. I know I have written several posts about useless things I have bought, so if you want to search, go for it. I get up at 5 in the morning to run on the treadmill before the kids get up for the day. I began this habit when my twins were about 6 months old, which was ridiculous since my son didn't sleep through the night until he was really old...maybe 2? and I was exhausted all the time. But the habit stuck because if I don't get up before everyone is awake, it is extremely easy for me to put off running because of something I just "have to" do instead.

The only thing on tv at 5 am is the news and infomercials. We do have tivo, but not on the basement tv where the treadmill is so I can't even watch any of the shows I tivo and never have time to watch. I used to watch the news, but after a few months of that, I found that I tend to talk like Rain Man the rest of the day about weather because I sort of have a nonsensical crush on the weather man. True story: the reason I watch this particular channel for news exclusively is because of this guy. No joke. I chose my news channel because of my crush.

Anyway, when I get tired of the news each morning, I switch over to infomercials. This has led to all kinds of useless things that I absolutely have to have and buy as soon as I get off the treadmill (the jump skip, the bosu ball, proactiv, and tons of other things I won't link but you can feel free to google them and see what I am talking about). Keep in mind I run at 5 in the morning and am not really a morning person, so maybe these purchases can be explained by my grogginess instead of just the fact that I am a sucker.

Yesterday, they had on a new product (but who knows how long the infomercial has been out, so it may not be new at all) for hair. I think I may have mentioned once or twice that ever since the stupid cancer, my hair has been awful. I got a hair cut on Monday and the girl who cuts my hair, who has cut my hair since before my 8 year old twins were born, couldn't believe how different my texture is and how slow my hair grows now. She cut off a ton of hair (picture on my flickr over on the side if you want to see) and it is feeling sort of healthy again. Sometimes I want to cry because my hair used to be so pretty. I used to have good skin (and do again thanks to Jessica* from my infomercial purchase about a month ago) and all of this has changed because of the cancer, hysterectomy or both. All of this left me ripe for the infomercial to convince me I could not live without this product that will make my hair soft and healthy again. I will keep you posted on how it works once I get it. I'm hoping it comes fast (uh...that's what she said?) because I am going to a grade school dance on Friday night.

Last night my daughter came home and told me we needed to talk in private. Long story short, a boy asked her to go to a dance with him on Friday night. I had all sorts of conflicted emotions about this. I was happy that someone liked her enough to ask her to the dance. When I was little I was the youngest in my class because I was put ahead a year. I was very skinny and sort of tall and just very awkward and sort of nerdy in grade school. I had a solid group of friends that consisted of the nerdy awkward boys and even THEY didn't want to ask me to any dances. This all changed when I grew up a little but I remember being so sad that I was the only one that wasn't asked to a dance in 5th or 6th grade. So on the one hand I felt relieved that my daughter got asked. On the other hand? My baby! My tiny little baby! And a boy likes her! This is not the first boy that has liked her, and I know it won't be the last because my daughter is beautiful both inside and out. I get it, I just wasn't expecting it. It seems my daughter had similar feelings.

When I asked her what she said, she said she sputtered out some words and told the boy she would have to ask her mom. After going round and round thinking about this, we decided she could go. But I am going too. I will be a chaperone at the dance. My husband says if I put my hair in a pony tail and wear something not too "mom like" the kids will think I am a kid. He thinks I have a future in being some kind of undercover child like on 21 Jump Street.

(sienoted confession here...I thought Johnny Depp was hot when he was on the show, and don't think he is hot anymore, but Peter DeLuise was the one that made me swoon)

So, tomorrow night, when I should be setting up the house for my twins first communion party on Saturday, I will be spending my evening at a grade school dance. Do you think any boys will buy me punch? Speaking of punch, I have a very vivid memory of being at a junior high dance and the song You Spin Me Round came on while I was waiting in line to buy punch. The boy every girl had a crush on came over, slid his arm around my waist and asked me to dance. He later wrote in my yearbook that I was the prettiest girl he ever saw. I was the envy of all the girls and later a girl I thought was a friend wrote a totally explicit sex note, said I wrote it and I almost got suspended because she was mad that I "got the guy". I didn't even "get the guy" because when we were talking after the dance he did this gross thing where he held one nostril and blew his nose onto the ground. If you know me, you know that stuff like that just makes me sick and I couldn't even look at him after that. He did try to kiss me and I did duck my head away and sort of gag at the thought of kissing him after that. The end. Wish me luck at the dance and pray that my daughter's friend (date?) doesn't try to kiss her.

*It is like I was meant to write all this random stuff together. Click my link to Jessica. She is singing the Dead or Alive song from my junior high dance story. See? The thoughts did go together even though they did not seem to at all!

Cupcakes, Paper Chains and Wheezing

I saw these amazing things a while ago and couldn't get them out of my head. My twins are having their first communion on Saturday and we are having about 50 people here for dinner after church for a party. We are also celebrating their birthdays at the party. What better time than now to try those cupcake pops?


My 8 year old son stayed home sick today. He has a fever and is wheezing...he does have asthma but has been fine/asymptomatic for quite a while lately. He stayed home from school yesterday too. I brought him to the doctor this morning to make sure there wasn't anything I was missing, but the doctor confirmed that I already knew what to do...tylenol for the fever, albuterol and advair for his wheezing. Basically I wanted a second opinion on what I was already doing because sometimes being a mom is hard. I constantly worry that I will miss something. I can't even imagine if I were a doctor. I get stressed enough when trying to make sure I take care of my own kids well enough!

Anyway, since I was stuck at home the rest of the day, I probably should have been working on the knitted mittens that each child is giving their teacher for an end of the year present. I already have 3 pairs finished, and need just one more so I think I will make it, but definitely that would have been a more productive use of my time! But not nearly as fun.




My boys and I (yes, even the one with the fever) worked really hard on these. I realized half way through that I only had a few sticks to put the cupcakes on so most of them were made into little cupcake bite things that we will set on the plate instead. The funny part is that I probably won't let anyone outside the family eat these since he had a fever while he worked on them. I found that I had a little bit of a lack of patience for making them. Possibly because I had my heart set on pink tops but realized after it was too late that I only had white candy melts, not pink. Either way, they turned out adorable. Obviously mine, which were made by me, an 8 year old and a 4 year old are not nearly as pretty as the ones I linked above (seriously, check the link...hers are amazing!) but they still tasted delicious. I may make some more later this week but using banana cake as the base for the party this weekend. If my son goes to school and I am able to get out of the house to get the correct supplies.









Now on to make the paper chain countdown for each child. Every year I make one...usually before now but I have been busy. The kids love ripping off a link each day and especially love the last day when school is over. Then they love using the saved up ripped up paper chain links as confetti to throw in the air after the get home from school their very last day. This year we will have more to celebrate the last day of school since my mom will be here staying with us for a short visit.


these are the chains but there are 4 sets of them. This is also a lovely view into my daycare room.


I apologize for the incomplete sentences, run on sentences and lack of good grammar today. I am sleep deprived and rushed. I promise to make a better effort tomorrow!

I Smell Like Mom Again

I was tagged by IntraopOrate
for that cool 6 word memoir meme going around. The instructions? Write a 6 word memoir and tag 6 others. Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play. I had a hard time coming up with just one because there are so many different parts to my life but this one is the first one that immediately popped into my head the minute I read that I was tagged so I will use that.

Cancer sucks. Fight hard, push forward.


Today I am going to get a haircut. I got my eyebrows waxed the other day and I have a story about that but I don't have time to share it now. I also have some mother's day stuff but really the funniest part of Mother's Day was when my kids gave me some perfume and told me they wanted me to smell like "mom" again. I have always used one particular perfume since before they were even born (Issey Miyake) and I have been out for a while. I don't always wear perfume anyway, but apparently it was important enough for them to make my husband buy it for them to give me. Today I smell like "mom" again, which has made them all happy.

Last night I was talking to my 4 year old and he said "FYI mom, I love you and you make me LOL". When I said something about it being close to bedtime, he said "TMI mom, TMI!" while he plugged his ears. I had no idea he knew that text speak stuff, and then we all had a conversation where I learned just how limited my knowledge on that is. My kids do not text yet, so I have no idea where they picked it all up but I am definitely going to need to learn that so I know what they are talking about!

Also last night, I was lying in my daughter's bed just before bedtime and my 8 year old son was with us too. They started asking how many miles a day I run. They guessed some numbers which were all much lower than the actual number of miles I run per day and that made me start thinking that maybe I run too much? So, if you could, in comments please answer me these three questions:

1. A normal person who runs only runs about ______ miles per day.

2. The total number of miles a normal person would run would not be more than ____ miles a week.

3. A normal swimmer swims about ____ miles a week.

I am thinking I might need to cut back on running but I really have no idea what a normal person does for exercise.

Oh, and I'll tag
John, Neumed, Candace, Nouveaublogger, Hilly,The Knife Man and Van for the six word memoir meme. If you haven't done it yet, feel free to do it and consider yourself tagged by me. I think this is a very cool meme and it is interesting to read what everyone is writing!

What is Wrong With You Mom?

The other day I promised you a tale that made my daughter shout out "what is wrong with you mom!" with a worried look on her face. Here goes:

I am a very busy person. I have four small children and my husband travels all the time for work. Being a full time mom is more than a full time job, and yet I also do home daycare a few days a week. I have very little time to even think, but whenever my oldest daughter asks me to come snuggle in her bed with her, I drop everything and run to be with her. These nighttime snuggles are the best ever because I get to lie in her bed and she talks. She talks about everything she is thinking, I tell her things that wouldn't normally come up in conversation, we just get to talk and get to know each other as people beyond our "mom" and "daughter" roles. She lets me in to her world and tells me things she normally only would tell her friends. It is by far my favorite part of the day and when she asks me to snuggle, I will always make time no matter what.

The other night my daughter was talking about her tv shows that she likes (icarly or hannah montana or whatever, I don't remember which show it was) and she was asking about ditching school. I had to explain what the word meant. Then she asked if I had ever ditched school.

I try really hard to be honest with my kids(and in general) because usually a lie gets you into more trouble than just telling the truth would. I am so busy all the time that I don't actually have time to remember what I told to who. If I just tell the truth to everyone then I won't have to remember anything but what actually happened. I haven't done much that I am embarrassed about, and people make mistakes in life and that is how we learn, so my general rule is that when the kids ask me a question, they get an honest answer AND THEN an explanation of why I think it was or was not the right choice for me to have made. I do this in an age appropriate way, obviously, so the answer my 10 year old gets may not be exactly the same answer my 4 year old would get but they would both be honest truthful answers.

When my daughter asked that, I told her the truth. Yes, I ditched school once in my entire life. (Unless you count college, which I do not because most of my classes were not mandatory attendance, so ditching wasn't really ditching and that will be a topic for a different time...so my answer of only ditching class once was truthful in my opinion). I went on to explain the situation so she would understand that I was once a kid too and didn't always make the best choices.

Keep in mind here that my 10 year old is my perfectionist kid who never does anything wrong on purpose. When her teacher tells them that they have a choice of doing the math problems or not, she does them. That is the kind of kid/person she is.

My story is this. When I was in 7th grade, I had two good friends. We were absolutely no good for each other, whenever we were together we got into trouble. One morning, we were waiting outside of school for the bell to ring. My friend Amy wanted some gum. There was a candy store right across the street of the school so the three of us walked across the busy street that none of us were allowed to cross in the first place. By the time we were ready to come back to school, Jen noticed that everyone was inside already. We figured that if we went back to school, we would get caught so we went to Amy's house which was right near the school, hung out until school was over and then all went home. I did not get caught, and in fact I jokingly made my daughter promise not to tell Grandma (my mom) because she still doesn't know! Then I told her I was kidding about promising not to tell, although I would still prefer she not tell my mom because it would probably make her sad.

My daughter looked at me for a minute and then said "oh". Then I remembered that I actually did ditch school one other time so I explained that one to her too.

In high school, our freshman year in gym class, we had one month of swimming. I went to the first day of swimming class, all the boys were out of control with the whistling at all the girls in bathing suits etc. so I never went back to gym class until that unit was over. I really don't think any of the girls went back and the gym teacher didn't say anything because it was just such an uncomfortable situation for everyone. The gym teacher was uncomfortable with the girls in bathing suits, he couldn't control the hormonal boys and it was probably just easier for him if we didn't show up. I was on the swim team at the time, so I figured I was doing the swim part, just not going to the awful class that accomplished nothing anyway. In my head that made it ok for me to just skip it since I was sort of making it up before school anyway with the swim team stuff.

After I told my daughter about that she said "what is wrong with you mom?" When I asked her to clarify what she meant, she said "you ditched school!" Yes, I ditched school. Once in my lifetime. And to her, that means I did something terribly wrong. Which makes me think I am doing something terribly right in raising her. We talked some more about everything and I told her that my parents were not people I could talk to. I told her that if she ever decided to ditch school, I would want her to tell me. She looked at me like I was insane to think she would ever ditch school. Because that is wrong.

Then we went downstairs. She told her dad that I ditched school once when I was little. My husband smirked. I said nothing because his stories are not mine to tell, but if anyone should be getting the "what's wrong with you?!?" it should be him, not me. I lived a very innocent life and was a pretty good kid, although sort of rebellious sometimes. Later, I heard her telling the other kids that she knew a secret about me that she wasn't going to tell them. I love that she feels special to know this "secret" about me even though she still looks at me funny and asks me about ditching school because she just can't believe that I would do such a thing. I also love that she wants to protect me and won't tell on me to them (they will find out this "secret" about me when they ask of course). I am also quite thankful that schools now, at least around my house, check where the kids are much more than they did when I was little!

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