Birthday Monkeys

My twins were born 7 years ago on Saturday. It seems hard to believe that 7 years ago I was completely sleep deprived taking care of twin babies and a 2 year old. My husband traveled quite a bit back then (as he still does) and learning to take care of all three kids by myself was quite a challenge! I tried breastfeeding, but was losing weight so fast I was getting dizzy and sick, so I switched to bottles after 8 weeks. The bottles brought their own set of problems for my son.

We had no idea why, but every time he would get a mouth full of formula, he would let it roll out of his mouth instead of swallowing it. After he lost even more weight, we switched to a doctor that didn't have to "step out of the room" because he had no idea what we were talking about and needed to ask someone what to do for us every time we voiced a new concern. The new doctor (the pediatrician I had when I was little) discovered that the neutrophils in his blood were very low and he had sores on the back of his throat. We were sent to a hematologist and thankfully my mom was able to come with me to the appointments to watch my other two children in the waiting room. She wasn't comfortable being completely alone with two small children so we found a solution that worked for both of us.

Each time I sat in the waiting room filled with small children with cancer, I cried when I got home. I cried because I was so sad for them and for their parents. No one should ever have to watch their child be so sick. I cried because I was so thankful I had never known anyone with cancer (which is pretty ironic now that I have actually had cancer myself!) I cried because the wonderful clown people they had there to entertain the children and pass out coloring books to the children with cancer thought my son was one of the kids with cancer. I cried because I was so thankful he was not and that we were there for something as minor as you could be there for. With time, my son's blood got better, he started drinking and swallowing his bottles, and life went on.

He was a high energy kind of kid. One time, he was very excited and ran into the door hinge of our basement door. The door hinge split open his forehead so deep I could see his bone. I brought him to the pediatrician, who sent us to a plastic surgeon. The plastic surgeon charged us $800 (not any of that was covered by insurance) and then when I got home and put my son for a nap, he proceeded to take them out himself in his crib. He woke up bloody. He had to go back to the plastic surgeon and get it redone. Once again, we were charged $800. This time, they bandaged it up securely. This experience was almost funny. It should have warned me that he was going to be a sneaky stubborn do it his own way kind of guy.

He had a huge asthma attack on his first birthday that put him in the hospital for days. Again it was the scariest thing I had ever experienced. After the initial hospital stay, he had several more asthma attacks that landed us in the hospital for days. Finally around his fourth birthday, his asthma got under control due to some wonderful doctors. Right around the time he turned 5, he started having stomach issues that continue to this day. If you knew him, you would never know that he has been in some sort of pain/sickness since the day he was born. It is all he knows, and he carries on and lives his life just like everyone else. I learned a lot from him, and actually used him as my example when I was sick. He is a strong little guy who has so much fun despite all the health problems he has been through.

My daughter had somewhat of an easier time. She has always been the kid who does what she is supposed to. She was head down ready to be born while inside of me, even when her brother twisted himself up in the cord so much that I needed a c-section anyway. She always drank her bottle perfectly, slept through the night at 10 weeks, and generally did everything she could to make it easy for me to take care of infant twins.

When she was 4, she was hospitalized with bone pain in her legs so severe that she couldn't walk or move her legs. They did her "icky icky test" that she still talks about. Our friend happened to be the nuclear medicine guy that did the test for her, and then years later did my radioactive iodine for my thyroid cancer. My daughter has such a positive attitude (this I will admit she gets from me) that when she talks about the icky icky test, she talks mainly about how kind the doctor was, and how he gave her a teddy bear, a warm blanket, and told her stories. If she were older, I bet she would be calling him a "hot doctor" like I do with the doctors that treat me well. She doesn't mention that they put her in the baby straight jacket thing to hold her down or that she needed an IV or that since I was pregnant, I couldn't be near her for the test.

She bumped her front tooth so hard that it turned black and got loose but still hasn't fallen out (it is going to any day now though because it is really wiggly).

She became terrified of the "cage" we made her sleep in when she was a baby (she was talking about the crib) and made us put the crib mattress on the floor when she was around 1. She spent about a year sleeping in the hallway outside our bedroom, the basement or wherever she ended up while sleepwalking because for some reason her room terrified her. She has an extremely active imagination, and is very much like me in this way and a lot of other ways too.

She hasn't been through quite as much as her twin brother in terms of her own sicknesses, but she did go through my sickness with strength and courage, which is way more than any child should ever have to go through! She is so kind and caring, always willing to help others (sometimes even if they don't want or need her help!) She is full of energy and a happiness that I can not even describe. She is such an amazing girl that people are lucky to meet.

Both twins are alike in that they are among the most kind caring people I have ever met. Even when they are upset with me or something I have said to them, they give me hugs and tell me they love me. They would never intentionally hurt anyone else, and just have such love in their hearts. Obviously we have had a lot of good times too...soccer games, dance recital, gymnastics, vacations, fun days just hanging out together, etc. But the memories that really stick in my mind are the ones that were scary for me.

2 years ago on their birthday I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. In their short 7 years, each of them has been through so much. I would not be the person I am today without having them. They taught me how much I am capable of. They taught me that I am so much stronger and more brave than I thought I was. They taught me that I can do something even if it seems too difficult. I am the luckiest person alive to have these wonderful kids! I only hope I can teach them half as much as they have taught me because that would still be quite a lot. Happy 7th Birthday on Saturday, little monkeys!